Today I saw the biggest mouse I have ever seen in my life. I was on a scissor lift about 30 feet in the air and it was running on the ground. In most places, you would assume it was a rat. Here in rat-patrolled Alberta, it’s just a giant mouse. From the air it looked to be at least four inches long, not including tail. Ironically, we’re building a multiplex and I sighted Mickey while piping one of the movie theatres. Maybe he’s scouting new screening locations.
Mickey is not the only wildlife I’ve seen while on the job. I’ve been acquainted with several of his cousins on various sites. Sometimes I see the family, sometimes I just see the little “presents” they leave behind. That’s especially nice when opening a ceiling tile and having a little scattering of presents rain down. Good thing I’ve got a hard hat.
Often birds get into the buildings because so much of it is open at the beginning of construction. There have been a few birds flying in our current building. Last week when I was on a lift I saw the beginnings of a nest built on top of some ductwork. It kinda reminded me of a line from Jurassic Park, “Life finds a way”.
In my first year I worked up in Fort McMurray sporadically and there were often wildlife sightings on the way up there. Deer, foxes and even Wyle E. Coyote, who had given up on Roadrunner hunting and dined out of the camp dumpsters on a regular basis.
This past spring I was working on a rooftop and heard Canada geese honking. I looked up and they were coming in for a landing, flying maybe ten feet above my head. They were so close I could hear their wings beating. They landed on a frozen puddle in the parking lot next to my building and stayed there for at least an hour, breaking the ice, drinking and resting. It was amazing to be that near them while they were still in flight. They didn’t seem to know I was there and were just doing what came naturally to them.
But, my most interesting wildlife sightings are of the two-legged variety.
I was working with a journeyman to wire up the CDI College sign on the side of the building beside the Hotel MacDonald. We had to get a big boom lift in order to get up there and I was waiting to flag down the delivery truck while he was organizing stuff. Since it was first thing in the morning on Jasper Ave., there were lots of pedestrians. I was just standing there waiting and this one strange looking guy came along and started talking to me.
Guy: Do you know the difference between flesh and plastic?
Me: No.
Guy: Well, plastic is hard and cold and flesh is warm and soft. I can satisfy you or any woman with my warm, soft flesh.
Me: Okay, go away now.
Guy: I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wanted to know if you knew the difference between flesh and plastic.
And off he went on his merry way.
At the end of that day I waited for the truck to come and pick up the lift again. I waited nearly 3 hours and was getting pretty annoyed. At about hour 2 another strange guy came along. This one didn’t look weird, just a student with a backpack, so it caught me off guard when he pointed his finger at me and started making phaser-shooting sounds.
Buck Rogers stood there for at least 30 seconds phasering me. I was trying to ignore him – didn’t want to provoke the wildlife, doncha know – but he wouldn’t stop. Some pedestrians walked by and looked at us like we were both crazy. I just gave ‘em the “your guess is as good as mine” shrug.
Finally, after the 30 seconds or so, I told him to go away. He decided he was going to take one of my traffic cones with him. I decided he wasn’t.
He leaned down to pick it up. I stomped on the corners of it with my boots and told him to go away again.
He moved to the next one, picked it up and carried it like a baby. I snatched it away from him and told him to get lost.
He walked half a block, turned around and started screaming, yelling and shaking his fists. I couldn’t hear what he said over the traffic noise but his body language was loud and clear. Finally, he resumed walking away and as a parting shot he gave me the double finger. Ouch, that really hurt my feelings.
No wonder they warn people about getting too close to wildlife.
Mickey is not the only wildlife I’ve seen while on the job. I’ve been acquainted with several of his cousins on various sites. Sometimes I see the family, sometimes I just see the little “presents” they leave behind. That’s especially nice when opening a ceiling tile and having a little scattering of presents rain down. Good thing I’ve got a hard hat.
Often birds get into the buildings because so much of it is open at the beginning of construction. There have been a few birds flying in our current building. Last week when I was on a lift I saw the beginnings of a nest built on top of some ductwork. It kinda reminded me of a line from Jurassic Park, “Life finds a way”.
In my first year I worked up in Fort McMurray sporadically and there were often wildlife sightings on the way up there. Deer, foxes and even Wyle E. Coyote, who had given up on Roadrunner hunting and dined out of the camp dumpsters on a regular basis.
This past spring I was working on a rooftop and heard Canada geese honking. I looked up and they were coming in for a landing, flying maybe ten feet above my head. They were so close I could hear their wings beating. They landed on a frozen puddle in the parking lot next to my building and stayed there for at least an hour, breaking the ice, drinking and resting. It was amazing to be that near them while they were still in flight. They didn’t seem to know I was there and were just doing what came naturally to them.
But, my most interesting wildlife sightings are of the two-legged variety.
I was working with a journeyman to wire up the CDI College sign on the side of the building beside the Hotel MacDonald. We had to get a big boom lift in order to get up there and I was waiting to flag down the delivery truck while he was organizing stuff. Since it was first thing in the morning on Jasper Ave., there were lots of pedestrians. I was just standing there waiting and this one strange looking guy came along and started talking to me.
Guy: Do you know the difference between flesh and plastic?
Me: No.
Guy: Well, plastic is hard and cold and flesh is warm and soft. I can satisfy you or any woman with my warm, soft flesh.
Me: Okay, go away now.
Guy: I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wanted to know if you knew the difference between flesh and plastic.
And off he went on his merry way.
At the end of that day I waited for the truck to come and pick up the lift again. I waited nearly 3 hours and was getting pretty annoyed. At about hour 2 another strange guy came along. This one didn’t look weird, just a student with a backpack, so it caught me off guard when he pointed his finger at me and started making phaser-shooting sounds.
Buck Rogers stood there for at least 30 seconds phasering me. I was trying to ignore him – didn’t want to provoke the wildlife, doncha know – but he wouldn’t stop. Some pedestrians walked by and looked at us like we were both crazy. I just gave ‘em the “your guess is as good as mine” shrug.
Finally, after the 30 seconds or so, I told him to go away. He decided he was going to take one of my traffic cones with him. I decided he wasn’t.
He leaned down to pick it up. I stomped on the corners of it with my boots and told him to go away again.
He moved to the next one, picked it up and carried it like a baby. I snatched it away from him and told him to get lost.
He walked half a block, turned around and started screaming, yelling and shaking his fists. I couldn’t hear what he said over the traffic noise but his body language was loud and clear. Finally, he resumed walking away and as a parting shot he gave me the double finger. Ouch, that really hurt my feelings.
No wonder they warn people about getting too close to wildlife.
******************************
Today’s Treasure: As I was driving home I saw an old-time mobster car pulled over on the side of the highway. It was in pristine condition and looked like it had just rolled off the lot. There was nobody around and I half expected to see Capone and gang come walking out of the tree-line, wiping the dirt off their hands. Hey ya mugs! Whaddya doin’ in there?
I have a rich fantasy life.
1 comment:
OMG! You make me laugh so hard! The wildife is most of the reason I LOVE my job! You wouldn't see anything like that sitting in an office building.
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